I'm just going to take this time to mention two positive things about this week: Thanks to the publicity of Modest Mouse's Ledger-directed music video for "King Rat", I have rediscovered Modest Mouse all over again. I have also found the perfect color to get my hair done! It's the closest to red my mother will ever let me go!
But yes, just to sort of sum up how I feel right now, I'll let Tim Burton's artwork do the talking.
I'm so irritated. Just with everything. I know it's natural to have days like these, but I haven't felt this way in a while. I'm just so completely on the edge. I'm ready to just scream. Everything's getting to me, I'm dwelling on past events, I'm getting upset over things that are less than nothing...it's pure insanity.
So I'm going to just talk about irritating subjects, one by one.
Firstly, young love.
Sure, perhaps some youngsters truly are in love and I'm probably treading thin ice with the mere mention of this subject, but I don't care. It pisses me off (excuse the poor language) that kids think they're in love with each other. I seriously doubt that you meet the love of your life in 8th grade. If you do, that's great, have a great life and shit. But honestly, I don't really think it's possible. Nobody is emotionally mature enough at 13/14 years old to invest themselves fully into another person, wholly and unconditionally, to be able to make that sort of commitment. When kids throw around the word love, it drives me up the wall. A part of me wishes that kids could just get it through their heads and another part of me realizes that I guess that's how kids learn. By learning what love isn't, they eventually grow to understand what love is. So I guess, it all works out somehow. And for those who never understand how to love: how sad.
Secondly, physical pain brought on by stress.
All I have to say about this is: IT IS AWFUL. For those of you who have the ability to control stress, I envy you.
Thirdly, finishing what you start.
Lately, I can't seem to finish a damn thing I start. I started Survivor almost two months ago and I am only on page twenty-something. I also started a watercolor series and so far I only have three paintings (two I did today to relax). It's just something that I hate doing. I want to be able to start something and finish it. It's hard when, at times, I'm so easily distracted by a number of things or even just one big thing.
Fourthly, "the perks of being a woman".
Girls, you know exactly what I am talking about. ERGH.
Fifthly, original songs that get ripped off by unoriginal products of sell-out record companies.
Today, my mother, sister and I were driving home from Shoprite and I turned off my ipod and my sister had Z100 on or something and I paused to listen. What I originally thought was "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap on Z100 (what the fuck was I thinking, right? Z100 doesn't exactly cater to people with my musical taste). It turned out to be some stupid "hip-hop artist" (you cannot even call people like that "artists" because they're full of recycled, unoriginal shit) who ripped from one of Heap's best fucking songs to turn it into some pathetic prom night club dance hit for all of the little Top 40 drones to sink their teeth into. I was ready to flip. Of course, when I made a comment about the song, my sister's rebuttal was, "Oh, what? Like all of your stupid music is original?" Yes, she seriously went there. She's sitting in the car, listening to snippets of MY STUPID MUSIC mixed into some God-awful rap song! And, to her, that's what it takes to make my music appeal to kids like her! Let rappers rip it off! I take pride in my taste in music and I feel that I have a pretty good ear when it comes to music. Albeit, I don't play any instruments and can barely read notes, but I think I know a thing or two. But anyway, I was pissed (again, sorry). Sure, those pop songs can be catchy and I have one or two floating around my iTunes playlists, but the fact that they put parts of a fucking Imogen Heap song in a fucking awful hip-hop song is just wrong. Just. Plain. Wrong. Argh!
I think that's pretty much it.
Of course there's other things bothering me, but those are of a more personal matter not to be mentioned on a blog. Not that anybody really reads this shit anyway.
Life is insane, it comes at you fast and you have got to be prepared for it or else it'll knock you on your ass and keep you down.
I also have the insane urge to learn how to play banjo. After hearing it in "Invasion" by Eisley, I have fully decided that I want to and will learn...eventually. Although, I need money for that.
HIRE ME ):
That is all.
I leave you with this little chunk of heaven.